In My Stomach

There's

2009-09-29T03:04:00.003+09:00

There's
None to eat in the fridge.
None to drink for tonight.
There's a glass of water.
Which is Lukewarm.
Very lukewarm.
I gulped it down.
Although my thirst is fulfilled
My heart is still empty.

There's
Nowhere to breathe.
Nowhere to be packed in
People may be laughing
But I can't see.

There's me, though
There's no me at the same time.

Once I drift myself into the unconsciouness,
I start to wander around the world;
And I call it an adventure.

There's
Someone in there
No face that I know of;
But I like them.
I like them a lot.

There's
No language between us.
No sound though we speak,
Speak of the things that we can't really hear.

This is my habit to talk to my spooks.
Hello my spooks,

There's something I have to tell you.
I would like to apologize.

I'm sorry for that I exist.

正直者のソネット

2009-07-20T02:13:00.008+09:00

　魔法の杖は、あなたのペンです
　　あなたの見るものすべてが紙の上で踊ります
　　苦悩は森　で　星は罠です
　　愛は薬　　で　冬は忍耐です
　
　あなたは魔法をかけます　
　　
　　呪文はあなたの歌です　リズムです
　　　あなたが踊れば　地上がゆれます
　　孤独をかき集めたら　地球は愛となり
　　その愛は薬となり、冬は去ります

　あなたは魔法をかけます

　　大きなキャンバスにあなたは何を描きましたか
　　　　昼間ですか　夜ですか？
　　魚ですか、女ですか？
　　　　林檎は仮面ですか？
　
　あなたの魔法は真実です
　　
　　
　　　　あなたの魔法は、正直者のソネットです。
　　　　　　　
　　　

Random Thoughts

2009-06-18T00:01:00.006+09:00

RT1.

I don't know if this is a good idea
But I'll be here for you as best as I can.
Many times, I thought I'd run away from you.
Many times, I thought I'd never make things smooth.
Though I don't know how to express my idea,
I'll try.
I won't run away.
I'm with you.

RT2.
(Comments after reading a kid's poetry)
Your poetry was awesome while mine wasn't.
You were a holy saint while I wasn't.
Just like your beetle,
Things are just things.
We can't pretend someone else.
You wrote metaphysics;
I wrote nothingness.
A Nine year old Existentialist
A Mine year old Nihilist.
Heading to the same direction
Though we were on the different plane.

RT3.

わたしとあなたが違う世界に生まれたこととは

「発見です」
「希望です」

あなたはあちら側の海を目の前にしてわたしがみえません
わたしもこちら側の海を目の前にして、あなたがみえません

わたしとあなたが違う世界に生まれたこととは
時折、絶望です

わたしの世界にはカタツムリがいます
あなたの世界ではいかがですか？
Snailですか、それとも・・・？
それでも　同じものをみています

　
あなたはあなたの世界で何をみていますか？
わたしのみているものが　あなたにみえていないとしても
わたしとあなたが違う世界に生まれたことは

　、ここでわたしは、
　言葉につまります

Terayama Shuji & Tanikawa Shuntaro - video letters- 1982-1983

2009-06-12T02:32:00.012+09:00

I "met" Tanikawa the Japanese contemporary poet while I was in college. It was a lecture meeting with Ms. K who is also a Japanese contemporary poet and writer, also my professor. The meeting itself was just impressive.

About Terayama, little I knew.
It may be because he'd died before I was born.
Avant Garde he did and what I truly admire.

I never thought Tanikawa would do something Avant Garde.
Japanese kids grow up with his poetry.
This is why, I was surprised ( a bit shocked, too)
When I saw the video letters.

Tanikawa has a full of hope whereas Terayama had no hope( I don't really think so, though).
The contrast between 0 and 1 made me impressed.
This must be what Murakami, Haruki does in his writing.
I love such theme; it's because I'm always wandering around its borders -
Between something and nothing, Between Consciousness and Unconsciousness.

The video letters are my most favorite, anyway.

Random Thoughts

2009-06-09T00:42:00.004+09:00

RT1. (once i was gonna write a story related to this theme)
this world and that world will never be crossed,
this world where i am;
that world where he is.
when i disappear
you come into this world.

RT2.

Swear to God,
I love you from the bottom.
I don't see you in front of me.
I don't know where you are
What you are feeling.
But I can feel you near.

RT3.

Sitting in a darkness,
Letting my eyes get used to it,
I could speak nothing more.
Many times,
I tried and tried.
I wrote and wrote.
Dumped the papers into the dust bin.
I erased and erased.
Thought everything would be faded somewhere far.
I was wrong.

Untitled

2009-06-07T19:34:00.016+09:00

Even so, is there still
Still, anything to hope?

Desperate Stars in the Sky High Above My head .

irony

2009-06-07T14:53:00.022+09:00

Dedicated to a boy whom I used to Know :

in the morning, when i had a dream about you, tears got filled in my eyes.

someday, i won't hide my heart.

when looking up at the sky without glasses,

the clouds come from the right, go to the left,

come, go, go, come, come, go, cogo.

in the morning, when i had a dream about you, tears got filled in my eyes.

i heard such a song.
and then.

i feel as if all the blood would flow in the opposite dirction;

my thoughts went upside down.

everything i see was covered by the mist.

i used to think that my blood was green.
the blood belonged to something unknown.
sometimes, i think about my own bones - are they white?

maybe not.

what about my internal organs?

just like this, in the morning when i had a dream about you,
all the energy would be squeezed completely from the inside.
then my soul became empty.
if my real life was like a snail,
then the unreal one that you were here would like a slug.

i misunderstand love.

i want you from the very bottom.

i escape with all my might at the same time.

in the morning, when i had a dream about you, tears got filled in my eyes.

Looking at the self, standing just like this,

i cried a bit.
my soul escaped from my ears.

Backdrifts

2009-06-04T16:47:00.002+09:00

" We're rotten fruit
We're damaged goods
What the hell, we've got nothing more to lose
One gust and we will probably crumble
We're backdrifters"
- Radiohead, Backdrifts from the album "Hail to the Thief" (2003)

Poems II

2009-05-20T12:31:00.018+09:00

Prisms Encore -Revised-

Red, Pink, Orange, Yellow, Green, Purple, Blue
Black is Noir and White is Blanc.
Free Association went wrong.
I had a dream about you last night.
Now I lit a cigarrette;
Hidden in its swirls,
Thinking, Darling oh my darling,
I could write nothing on the pages　
Prisms on the note book :
There is 0 - thing
There is 0 - thing.

Red, Pink, Orange, Yellow, Green, Purple, Blue
On the pages I wrote:
Prisms Encore, Prisms Encore!
Reflections of Colors of a Rainbow,
Encore, Encore, Go on, Encore, Continuously!
In the End, There will be 0 As it used to Be.

Fish

Without a sound
Time has ticked Away.
There was a Voice in my Head
Whispering into my ears repeatedly,
"Evidence has been erased."
You were there with me once.
Now All is melting into the white wall.
Now All is melting into the white wall.
I'm sorry for this vague mind.
I didn't mean to hurt at all.
I didn't mean to hurt at all.
Smiles there used to be.
Profane, the two of us
Did so badly that
We could go nowhere
Nor could we hide
Could we breathe.
On the Sea bottom,
None we could see,
How helpless we were
Only darkness there was!
How helpless we were

I became fish.

Poems I

2009-05-14T03:04:00.003+09:00

One yellow sunday afternoon

There, on the bus, were-
Ten and some more passengers,
Waiting for the right moment
To get off into the outer space.
- I do not go yet.

A man in front of me stood up and
Dropped coins into a box.
Then, he was gone off to the world
Where I looked down onto.
There, where he was placed,
The plastic bag and dust,
The dust and dead leaves were swirling up
Higher and higher toward the endless blue of the top.
There, where he was able to see nothing more,
Immobile houses and letters,
The letters and sighs were going around,
Coming around, back and forth.

Now my turn , then I felt.
The sky- bright
The wind - no temperature
Having started to run away from there,
Realized - No where to go, No clues, however.

The bus left me, all alone.
He again left somebody else without saying anything.
Then he would take someone else into his body.
They would get out, then get on.
Such things - swirling high up into the sky.
Such things - melted into the time ticking away,
Into the time on one yellow saturday afternoon.

Machine

He, is a machine
That understands logic
That can never understand emotion
His core is comprised of
010101010101010101010101.

He, is a broken computer.
That comprehends what languages mean
That can never feel what tongues would really mean.
When all the commands shut down,
He speaks nothing more.

A Big Heart

At a place
We gathered as one.
One was gone,
And then soon after,
2, 3, 4,
Followed and vanished,
Gone somewhere far beyond.
At somewhere on this planet,
One feels them on their back,
Becomes a lonestar,
To feel deep inside:
That it was a miracle we had encountered
With no accident -

Feel: there would be a big heart
Between you and me,
For always, eternally,
In our vast blue sky,
In the air we breathe,
In every word we speak,
In our vague mind,
Deep inside of the core in this big,
But small world where we are
- On this planet without you.

The Sky Abobe Me.

2008-08-01T23:36:00.004+09:00